Bloganuary Days 10/11/12/13

I chose not to keep up with my daily blogging goals this week. I took a solitary retreat and was planning to make it screen-free. It wasn’t screen-free, because I could not do that level of isolation, and while I’d love a steadfast, boot-camp-style reset, I also recognized that I really needed to rest, and that included occasional connection with the outside world. I posted my Wordle scores on FB and Twitter, edited photos on my tablet and shared them on IG, and looked stuff up on Wikipedia. I only took a tablet, though, and cannot blog-think in that interface. So here we are, catching up.

What are 5 things you’re grateful for today?

  1. Strong black tea
  2. Getting home safely from my getaway with slightly less nostalgia for the olden days
  3. That my daughter is so satisfied with her makeshift ballpit (we used a portable Japanese bathtub, and I was really sure it wasn’t going to be satisfying. But she loves it!)
  4. My house. It was sweet having a funky urban apartment to myself, but there is truly no place like home.
  5. The kitchen was clean when I got home!

What does it mean to live boldly?

This is interesting. I’m pretty expressive in my rich inner world, but I can freakin shrink around authority figures, like friends’ parents. I’m 45 years old with gray hair and still feel like a kid around certain grown-ups. My best friend’s mom once mentioned that I’d never confront anyone, that I was too “fey“, which I took to mean meek, but maybe she meant something else. Maybe I’ll drum up the will to ask her, if she remembers. Anyway, it feels like a survival mechanism on some level to try and fit in, or not stand out. At the same time, I reject a lot of social norms and question the status quo (because Aquarius), which puts me in a dichotomy (because Pisces and cardinal Grand Cross), so I’ve tended to rebel quietly. I’ve gotten into trouble “putting myself out there” but can’t exist in a stifling environment. I spend a lot of time alone, and I like it, but not at the detriment of forging real connections with other human beings while I am one. So for me, living boldly involves figuring out how to do that, on my terms, without overextending or underrepresenting myself, and I’ll report back when I’ve figured that out.

What emoji(s) do you like to use?

This one. It reminds me of the smile of someone I love who’s sweet, soft, humble and kind.

What does your ideal day look like?

Having just spent three days alone, you’d think I’d have this down. I think I can at least cover the morning routine:

  • Wake up, ~7:20, when my genes want me to
  • Brush teeth, because I hate morning mouth. I usually clean a toilet while I’m in the bathroom.
  • Stretch, then mediate for 10-20 minutes
  • Break fast
  • Wash face
  • Go for a morning walk. If it’s an ideal day, it’s mild/warm and sunny.
  • Do a crossword puzzle
  • I’d probably want to do some “work” at this point
  • I like to exercise right before lunch, around 11:30
  • Lunch
  • Postprandial stroll
  • More work, I guess?
  • If I can do yoga or swim before dinner, that’s swell
  • Dinner
  • TBD

I’ve been reading lately about the daily routines of working artists. Many of them apparently work for a few hours in the morning, then have lunch and spend the afternoon walking the glades of Britain and sup with friends, and I think I could dig that.


Bloganuary Days 8/9

What do you like most about your writing?

It’s fun. It’s as close as l I’ll ever come to acrobatics. I just wish I didn’t fatigue so darn fast (physically and mentally). Practice! Reps! Build muscle! This blog challenge is the reps.

What do people incorrectly assume about you?

I have no idea. I’m much more interested in what I incorrectly assume about other people (including myself). Having realized recently that my impression of other people is at best an estimate, no matter what or how well I think I know them, has been liberating. It’s all a mirage, an image in my head. I mean, my entire experience is that, and often two-dimensional. I recognize that I’m a complex, multi-layered person whose motivations and impulses are sometimes hidden from me, and I’m my closest companion. How can I possibly write another person off as being “judgmental” and only judgmental, when my experience of them is just a miniscule part of who they are?